Wednesday, June 2, 2010

June 1, 2010

June 1, 2010. My first day of unemployment in over 9 years.

It felt weird, and great, and scary.

In some ways, I feel as though I have let Jon down. This layoff wasn't my fault, it isn't personal, it wasn't anything I did wrong. But I'm not contrbuting to the family finances right now. That doesn't hurt us too much, actually, we're in a good place. But it feels so strange. I feel like I owe it to our family to contribute to our needs.

I have always worked, with the exception of a small window of time in Germany, and I was volunteering then. Jon tells people that I get restless and make the family unhappy when I'm at home too much. I worry that he's right.

I have sent out some resumes, and started the networking process. But since we aren't in our new location yet, that's about all I can do for now.

Yesterday Alissa and I commemorated the first day of unemployment by spending the day together. We ran errands and listened to the "Glee" soundtracks together, and laughed and ate lunch. I treasure these small moments with her, and it reminds me of times that I spent with my mom at her age. When she's not in a teenager mood, she is fun and fabulous to be around.

Today I file for unemployment and Alissa and I hit the beach. I want to chill out and forget that I'm upset with IBM and not think about "how and when am I gonna get another job"?

Just for today, I am letting God handle the worry for me. I need a break. And although I'm not sure I deserve one - I mean, I am pretty tough on myself - I am taking a break with Alissa and getting out of this house for a while.

In fact, I hear her moving around upstairs so I bet she'll come down momentarily, in her skinny strapless bathingsuit and wonder if I'm ready to hit the beach.

"Coming, Alissa..."


Carrol said...

Go for it! Have a great time together! Relax and enjoy! You have earned it! New "work" will come in God's time for you. It will be good because you have done and given all in the right manner.

Love and hugs to all!!!!

RangersGirl said...

Seriously, have fun. You really don't need to worry about money. You are going to have to start packing soon for the move...lots of stuff that you will have to take care of for that (its work).

You do so many other things to support the family besides working. See all the things you'd want to see in Hawaii while you are there and have the time. I would love to have a chunk of free time to do that, and get myself organized again, without having to worry about paying my bills.

I'm looking forward to you guys coming to this area.

Krysti said...

Congratulations! The most important job you will ever have is not really a "job" but the love, nuture and care for your family!

Have a great time on all the days! Hope the beach was tons of fun! Thinking about it everyday!

Love You all!
Aunt J