I do not want to sit around anymore, waiting for my job paperwork to complete. Seriously, what is taking so long? The company says it's normal and that they still are excited to have me join the team. But it's been 5 weeks since I turned that paperwork in. Come on.
I don't like not having a job. The house is quiet, and there's only so much laundry you can do. I want to work, and feel like I am contributing - to the family, to my place of work, to society.
I am still mad at *** for letting me, and all of my teammates, go 6 months ago. I worked hard for that *%$&*( company, I gave more than 100% and ALL my performance reviews were stellar. Why was I rewarded with a layoff notice? I know, everyone tells me - with this company it isn't personal, it's the almighty dollar. So why can't I let it go?
I am constantly struggling with my faith. I am a Christian, who tries every day to do the right thing. I try my best every day. I have a relationship with my God, and I feel I can go to Him with my troubles. But for almost 2 years now I have been praying about this - about losing my job (back when it was still a rumor) and finding a new one that was right for me.
Two years. And I am still jobless. (I know, I am not the only one. There are millions.)
So, I struggle with why? Why doesn't anyone want to hire me, or at least talk to me about hiring me? Why did *** let me go? Why is this prayer that I so desperately need answered being shelved?
I know, patience. It will happen when it's supposed to happen. My head knows it and my heart knows it, too.
It doesn't keep me from hating the situation I'm in, and wondering what else I can do to get my foot in the door somewhere.
I have applied for at least a hundred jobs since we moved here. I think I've had 4 interviews.
I am frustrated. I am crazy with emotion. Mostly, I feel lost. I have never, in 17 years, had to struggle to find a job. Never. This is new territory and I am not handling it well.
I guess that the upside is that, despite my feelings about the job situation or lack thereof, life otherwise is pretty great.
Now if I could just start working already. "Right Job for Tiffany", can you PLEASE hurry up and find me? PLEASE?
Happy Wednesday all.