As you all know, I have been stressed out about this job situation for a while now.
Well, stressing doesn't make the situation better. It only makes my stomach upset, and it makes a lot of people wonder why I am in such a funk...
So, I finally decided that I would put it in God's hands. I read recently on Facebook, someone posted a note that said to be specific when you pray. Maybe I haven't been specific enough.
I figure that, in addition to being always being thankful for what I already have, I would be a little more specific when I prayed the next time.
And, you know, I haven't been stressing about the job so much over the last couple of days. Yes, it is still definitely on my mind. Yes, I am still doing my best to help myself through this situation.
But, I have opened up myself to allow for God's Will to be done. I said I would before, but I don't think I ever really did. I kept control of it, even though I really didn't have any control in the first place. I let it bother me, I let it sit there like a rock in my stomach where it wasn't helping me at all. In fact, it was hurting me. Hurting my family (because I let it rule my emotions...)
I personally believe what a pastor in Germany once stated in his sermon, that God knows what we need/want, and wants to help us. He's just waiting for us to ask. And I also believe that God will help me, in His time, in His way, and even if my prayer is not answered in the way I ask (no matter how specific I ask), that He will help me because I asked. (And because I try my best to walk through life the best way I can - being a good person with morals and compassion and love in my heart.)
I have always believed this. But, I let my fears and stresses get in the way and cloud what I know to be true.
The things I'm worrying about (read: my job and employment future) will turn out OK. Because I have asked for help, I know it will be OK.
And for some strange reason, even though I still don't know what will happen with my job or when, I have some peace inside me that says that it will be OK. There might be some trials to get to "OK", but we'll get there.
I felt the need to post this. Mainly for myself. To remind myself what my former manager used to tell me, that work is work and that it is never as important as the people you love.
Besides the job situation, life is good. The hurricane didn't hit us. (Well, it's raining a little bit now but that's totally OK with me. Lower water bill this month!) I killed yet another phone - 2 in the last 3 months! I sent it to an accidental watery grave...
So I finally bit the bullet last night and upgraded my phone to an iPhone.
(Did you hear that, Jay! I finally have a new phone, and even though it's not the one you wanted me to get, I finally made a choice...)
I have been hem-hawing about this stupid phone for almost 8 months. Last night I just sucked it up and did it.
I am in love. It is a great device. I already knew that because Alissa has had one since December and occasionally she lets me drool over it.
But I waited and waited. I'm not sure what I was waiting for. Waiting for life to go one way or the other. But I should know that waiting for things to change doesn't make them change. Isn't that what today's blog entry is all about??
So, here's to today and the miracle of Tiffany finally deciding that waiting for change won't make anything change. And deciding that things are going to be fine. With God's help, whenever the time is right, things will turn out fine.
Until then, life as normal, but with a little less stress. (Hopefully!)