Happy Birthday Carrol!

Today is Jon's mom's birthday.

We had the pleasure of just having a long visit with her and her husband here in our home.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We were so glad to get to spend time with you, and we hope you have a wonderful day today!

Love to you from all of us!

Laurie's birthday and LOST is back!

My favorite show.

Of all time.

Yes, I am a LOST geek. It is a truly fascinating show. I don't get into all the weird conspiracies, I don't over-analyze, but over the summer I did read a few theories here and there. I got geared up for this new season. And Alissa and I watched seasons 1-5 to get prepared. (I'd seen them all already, but Alissa started with season 4 so she needed to go back and watch from the beginning...)

I am so excited for it to start back tonight. And the fact that it's filmed here, sometimes just down the street, is super cool. Everytime I see the Others' Barracks, I think of Camp Erdman and how cool it is to be standing in the Others' Village, looking at those buildings, seeing them in person. And Kawela Bay, a beautiful secluded beach that we got to enjoy with both Jon's sister and mine, is the place where Juliet and Goodwin swam and drank wine and decided not to hide their relationship any longer...

OK, OK, I've rambled. I can't help it. Love, love, love this show.

And, today is my sister Laurie's birthday! I miss her so much, and I wish her the happiest birthday she's ever had. It's her first birthday as a mom, and she gets to watch LOST tonight, so those two things should help make her day a little brighter.

Love you, Laurie, and hope to be a little closer to the celebration next year! Have an amazing day!

Happy 40th Birthday Jon!!

Happy, Happy Birthday to Jon,my wonderful husband of 15 1/2 years.

He can't be with us today, the Army has him away on business for another couple of weeks, but we are thinking of him and wishing we were in the same city. I miss that guy!.

Today his mom and stepdad are here still enjoying their visit. We climbed Diamond Head crater. It was our 4th time, their 1st. They did GREAT! A couple of stops here and there, but it didn't feel nearly as hard as the last 3 times I've climbed.

Either the 4th time is the charm, or all that crazy running I've done has finally started to pay off.

And at the top, we honored Jon(Dad) and let him know that we miss him and that we're thinking of him on his special day.

Happy birthday Jon. We love you and miss you. We're grateful to have you in our lives.

Back to School tomorrow and other thoughts for today...

The 2 younger kids finally go back to school tomorrow. They've been on break since December 18. YIKES! The Hawaii school system is horrible, and weird, and unlike anything we've ever been exposed to. The kids are on a track system, so they're in school for 8 weeks, then break for 3. Well, the grading period ended on December 18 so their "break" falls in line with Christmas break.

That means 5 weeks off - in a row - and it's not even summertime. (Alissa's school is on a traditional calendar, so thank goodness she is not exposed to this madness.)

I love these girls but it's time for them to go back to school. They're starting to bicker, and quite frankly they're getting bored. I like being here alone to work, and not have to listen to SpongeBob on the TV or girls fighting about whose turn it is to play on the Wii or with that Barbie or who was last to leave the room and needs to turn the light off. While I love having the house full of little girls (both mine and the neighbors'), I am tired of cleaning up or reminding little girls to clean up.

Bottom line, if you're ever finding that you have the opportunity to live in Hawaii, really take time explore other alternatives to the public school system. There's an excellent homeschool program here that I almost wish I would have tried, much to Alissa's dismay.

Meanwhile, Jon's mom and stepdad are here. It's been nice and relaxing, and we've spent a lot of time laughing. I think once the kids are all back in school tomorrow, they will start to venture out for more sightseeing, but for now they are content to live our everyday lives with us. It makes me sad that Jon is so far away and can't be here for any of the visit. I am even sadder that we can't go away for his birthday like I wanted, because (1) he won't be here for it, and (2) they'll be gone by the time he gets back and unable to take the kids for a night or 2.

What I wouldn't give for a night/weekend away, alone, just the 2 of us. We really could use that. Not that we're in a bad place or anything like that, but with him travelling so much, and our busy everyday lives compounding things, we don't get too many date nights, let alone time away by ourselves. I think the last time we did that was house-hunting in 2004. (NOTE: If there are any volunteers to take the kids for a day or 2 this summer, let me know....We'll be house-hunting again, wherever we end up.)

I haven't been running since the in-laws have been here. But surprisingly, I know I've lost a couple of pounds. I can tell by the way my pants fit. We've been eating healthy, and eating less. (Although we did have Peanut Butter Pie for dessert last night...)

I gotta get out to run today. There's no excuse. And, I need to spend some time alone. I miss that hour a day to myself. I miss my daily date with Chris Daughtry and Will Schuester ("Glee").

There's no "alone time" when I'm here. Someone under 18 always seems to need my help/attention/advice. One of the many side effects of military life. The girls and I are so close, they don't want to go to anyone else for help except me. It's a wonderful blessing, having such a close relationship with them. But it's also difficult, because I am always reminding them that Dad/Grandma/Grandpa/Ms. Tania/Ms. Nicole/their sister/etc. can help too, especially if that person is standing right beside them.

Well, back to the grind. No new news on the job/move. You all will definitely know if something changes...

Happy Monday!

A New Year Begins...

photo courtesy of www.mediabistro.com

So, 2010 is here. I'm not ready.

2010 is bringing a lot of changes to the Heffner household.

For starters, I am begging for a PCS move. Yes, I did the same thing when it was time to leave Germany. Yes, years later I long to re-visit that place and I also realize that we didn't take full advantage of our time there.

I'm sure the same thing will probably happen with this tour - we'll miss Hawaii when we leave. Except that we have taken advantage of our time here. Our copy of "O'ahu Revealed", which I highly recommend to anyone visiting this island, is bookmarked, worn, written in, highlighted, and water-stained.

We've seen and done so many cool things here. It's hard to choose our favorites! But, I'm ready to head back to the mainland. It's time.

Second, I hope to see Jon promoted to Lieutenant Colonel.

He's worked hard for this honor, and I hope that the Army Promotion Board sees what I see and rewards him. The board meets next month, so I've added it to the prayer list.

Third, Alissa will turn 16. Sixteen!! Am I old enough to have a sixteen year old??? Most days I don't feel much older than that myself. Don't worry, though, Alissa does her best to remind me that I am routinely uncool, un-hip, and couldn't possibly know what she's going through. Alissa will start to drive this year. (Don't worry, that won't happen until we leave this crazy state and its "Drive With Aloha" ridiculosity.)

Fourth, my career will change. Even if I get to stay with IBM, which is my true hope, I will not be on the same team that I am now. The team itself has already moved, changed names, changed management, and changed the way it runs. I am a "legacy team member", still around until they decide that they don't need me anymore. I hope that some of the networking I've done works out, but rest assured that the job I have now probably won't last for the full year.

And fifth, with the PCS move, we'll have a new place to live, new schools, a new town, new neighbors, and we'll all be the "new kid" again. Jon thinks this could be our last move before retirement. Since he has less than 5 years left, we could conceivably stay in the new place for all of that time, and then move one last time - for good - when he retires. (I said "could", so please don't read anything into that. It's just a statement right now...)

Wow, a lot of stuff is scheduled to happen this year.

Maybe I am ready after all. I think that one of the many things that Army life has taught me, besides profound independence, is the ability to handle change, and lots of it, all at the same time.

This isn't our first trip to Crazytown, and we know what we need to do to prepare ourselves for the journey ahead. There will be bumps, but we've got our battle gear on and our training manuals open.

Most importantly, we've asked God for help. And He's listening. (I can't always hear his cheers, but I know he's rooting for our team.)

So, as our life prepares to change again, stay tuned. And you might want to get your battle gear ready, too. It's better to be prepared for whatever is ahead.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Christmas. In my humble opinion, the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

My Christmas memories as a child are those of making treks to Sandusky, to see my Grandma and Grandpa and my aunts, uncles and cousins on my mother's side. Laying in the back of my parent's van (long before seat belts and car seats were required) and watching the Christmas lights as we travelled through town. Baking cookies with my mom and sisters, and listening to an Avon Christmas cassette that is still my favorite Christmas music in the world.

I had a good childhood. Christmas was always filled with love, family, togetherness.

When we don't live across an ocean, we are always in Ohio for Christmas. Well, maybe not Christmas Day, but always part of Christmas week. Making that drive from wherever-to-Ohio, usually in the snow and very cold weather. That's the Christmas memories I have collected as an adult.

The past couple of Christmases have been different. We're far from home, and with Jon's work travels, my job insecurity, and 3 kids and all their gear made it just too hard to get home to Ohio.

We're lucky that we have formed an extensive 'second family' here in Hawaii.

I've mentioned it many times in posts in the past. These folks mean such a great deal to us. These families that have come into our lives and hearts. They are families that we won't live near forever, but will forever live in my heart (and hopefully in our lives, even if it's long-distance!)

I feel overwhelmingly blessed to have these families in my life. I know that God knew I would need to meet them, and that's why our Hawaii trip in 2006 fell through and we ended up moving here instead. It was so we could meet these people, invite them into our hearts, and share wonderful experiences that will be my children's childhood Christmas memories.

We're creating memories that my girls may not fully appreciate now, but they will treasure in the years to come.

It feels strange to have a sunburn on Christmas week (as I do), to wear shorts and tank tops when Christmas shopping with the hubby, to sit out on the lawn pulling weeds in December as I bond with a good friend and her new baby. It's a weird feeling to hear my Facebook friends talk about snow shovels and school delays while I tie my shoes and put on my iPod to go jog in the 80-degree heat. This is a surreal life, to live in "'Paradise", even for a short time, and be cut off from things that are normal to us - snowfalls, freeways, Applebee's for goodness sake! (As an aside, I am convinced that McDonald's is considered "fine dining out" here, unless you're in Waikiki.)

But the memories we've made, and will make for the rest of our stay here, are worth it. It stinks to be far from home, far from the people we love the most, and far from the daily events of their lives. But the Army has given us something wonderful to help make up for it:

ADVENTURE.

And lots of it. We've gone places, seen things, that I would never have dreamed I'd experience. I snorkeled with an eel this past Friday, if you can believe that!

As we prepare for our new adventure, sometime in 2010 (God willing, of course), I take this blessed Christmas season to reflect on the memories we've made here in Hawaii. The friends we've found, the adventures we've taken, the challenges (both good and bad).

It's all part of the adventure.

To all of you, from the Heffners, our best wishes for a blessed Christmas and a fabulous 2010!

Where I've Been...

Truthfully, I just took the last few weeks off.

Too much going on. Jon left on extended TDY, my sister came to visit with her husband and new baby boy, and work has got me working overtime, all the time.

Pardon me for a moment while I vent about this job-thing...again. If you decide to stop reading, I won't be offended. But writing it helps me cope.

They now want me to join 4:30 am daily meetings where I can hear (with the other remote folks) how important we are to getting the new people up to speed so that they can be successful at doing our jobs. And, every Thursday (including Thanksgiving), I get paged at 10:30 at night for servers that are spitting out false-positive alerts. That I haven't been able to get fixed, because of the holidays and the red-tape that is required to get a simple task executed.

Yay!

I secretly find myself being ok with this job-ending-thing. Not the being unemployed part. Not the way that the company has done it (forcing people to move or give up their jobs at the company's convenience). But the idea that I won't give my all anymore for a company that just continues to want more, and more often, and for less.

Yes, I work at home. It has been an insane blessing the last 5+ years. That piece I love, and hope and pray that I don't have to give up.

But it gives the company more and more of my time, for free. And I do it, because I am a loyal, hard-worker who likes/liked the company I work for and wanted to give them my best.

It seems like I never turn the computer off. I work, and work, and work. There is always another task that needs to be done right now. I can't even take days off, as there is no one to cover for me. (So many people have already been let go...) When Laurie was here, I worked half days and checked my email every night after her family went to bed.

All that being said, I actually find myself hoping for 2 things:

1. That this company will do the stand-up thing and find positions for those of us who are sticking around until the end. Especially those of us that can't move, even if we wanted to, because we have spouses serving our country and can't/won't separate the family for the sake of a job. (I know this is a dream and too good to be true, but I still hold out hope.)
   
   
2. That, if #1 doesn't happen, that I can at least stay with said company until summer 2010, when I anticipate a move to a new part of the US, where I can go back to contracting, or maybe take a college course or 2, and take my career sights in a new direction.

I hate feeling this way. I have never lost a job before - never been fired, let go, laid off, any of that. It sucks. The insane amount of control that I don't have. That's what gets me the most.

I would have stayed with this company for years and years if they'd let me, until retirement. I would have been loyal until the end. I don't know if I will get that chance.

I have tried giving it to God. Believe me, I try. Every day. I know that God wants me to be patient, that he wants me to let Him help me. I believe whole-heartedly, that He has another plan for me and that He will help me with the job situation because I have asked.

Believe me, I pray everyday. Sometimes several times a day. It's just about all I think about these days. I am wondering if God is sick of hearing my prayer yet. It's like it's been on an endless loop for months.

I don't know what He wants me to do. It's like I can't hear what He's trying to say to me, what He wants me to do to help myself with this situation. I have applied for a few other jobs at this employer, but I can't get past the stupid computer-screening process.

So I wait, and stress. Every day. Waiting for the ball to drop. For them to say they don't need me anymore.

It sucks. That's all there is to it.

But I will continue to pray. I will ask everyday for help. And maybe, God's time will come and I will see the answer that I've been looking for.

If you see it, let me know.