When life gives you lemons, you can do one of 2 things...

You can either get really, really upset (which I've found does not help the situation at all, even though I do it time after time), or you can just accept that something unpleasant has happened and ask for help.

Help from anyone - friends, family, strangers, the US Army, and God.

Why am I telling you this?

Over the weekend our landlord came by "to talk to us briefly". Seems that he hasn't had any income for 6 months and can't afford this house, that we're currently living in, anymore. (At that moment, I said a silent prayer that I have a job, a great job, and wished for that to never change.)

He's decided to put the house up for sale - a short sale. At a very, very cheap price at that. (So cheap we have even toyed with the idea of buying it ourselves and renting it out when we move...) He just needs to get out of this money pit - like many, many landlords here on the island, he bought at a high price, with 100% financing, and an ARM mortgage.

So, you will recall that we just went through this 7 months ago with the house we lived in down the street. (Well, that ended up being a foreclosure, but the circumstances felt the same...) When that happened, I cried for a whole day. It didn't help, and truthfully, crying about it didn't even make me feel better - it just made my face swollen and a lot of people worried that I may have had a mini-breakdown. Instead, I prayed. We have WONDERFUL friends who offered to help, and we found a new place and moved to it in a matter of just a couple of days.

It all worked out. Beautifully.

So, when we got this news over the weekend, I just decided that I wasn't going to get upset about it. After all, it isn't my mortgage that is getting behind. We're just in the wrong place at the wrong time (again).

So I prayed. Again.

And yesterday, two things happened.

(1) Jon and I went to see a lawyer at Ft. Shafter to find out how this affects us. We were pleasantly surprised that any new owner cannot force us out easily. Per Hawaii LAW, they are bound to honor our lease. If they decide to end the lease with us, we have recourse - they pay us for the move and for the equivalent of 2 months' rent. We have a copy of the bylaw that states this.

(2) A realtor for our current landlord called me yesterday to say that there may already be a buyer - a man and his wife, both doctors, who want to buy the house as an investment and are happy that there are already renters here with another 18 months on their lease. They want to come by today to see the inside, check out the layout, etc.

Yay! (Hopefully I'm not jinxing myself...)

The power of prayer, and "giving it up to God", continually amazes and astounds me.

If they decide not to buy the house, and it doesn't sell and goes into foreclosure, well, we've already been there and done that. We know what our options are there, and we have recourse in that scenario, too.

So, where does this leave us? Well, Jon and I feel good that we're in a good place either way. The Army lawyer told us that too, in those exact words.

Which is a good thing, because we're still dealing with the aftermath of the last move, just 7 short months ago. Army bureaucracy has kept us from an entitlement (read:: monetary compensation) for that move, and Jon had to get his boss's boss involved just to keep the ball rolling. We, unfortunately, were guinea pigs for a new Department of Defense regulation regarding asisstance to renters due to foreclosure. We're teaching the Army how to handle situations like us. And, so far they have stumbled the entire way.

If you are in the military and find yourself in a similar situation, contact me. I can tell you exactly how to dodge these bullets.

Will keep you posted on the sale, etc.

Happy Wednesday Everyone!!

Sometimes you just see a sign...

This will sound like a really strange post. But I needed to write it down. (After re-reading, it feels so good to have it in print...)

I have been going through a trial over the last couple of weeks, and trying to figure out how to better hear God's words when I am speaking to Him. Without going into too much detail, I like to pray out loud. Almost always it's either in the car, or when the kids are at school, so I can speak out loud (as if God were sitting across the table from me.) When I pray, I usually get a "sign" from Him. It is unmistakable, and I always get the same sign. That's how I know that we're having a conversation, or that He agrees with me, or that "everything will be ok". It's basically a universal sign from Him to me that puts me at peace when we talk.

Well, for the last couple of weeks I have not seen that sign at all when I pray. It started to scare me - a LOT. At one point, I really felt worried that I was doing something wrong, and that God and I had lost our connection temporarily.

Well, today, the trial is still there, but with a great friend's help, and many, many prayers from friends, I have learned that I am worthy and that I should give my trial to God to handle. So I did. I told Him that I would try to give it to Him and that whatever the outcome was, I was sure that it would be OK because it would be His will.

And, the sign came back!! Tears of joy dripped down my face, as I realized that we were connected once more.

This is an absolutely true story. It was as if He was waiting for me to say those exact words. And, though my faith was never lost during these last couple of weeks, I did have some lingering doubt about whether the prayer that I was asking for was "the right prayer". I have always struggled with asking God for things that seem trivial to others. And, although this recent request is not trivial in my opinion, I still felt that maybe it wasn't something that I should be asking for. My friend reassured me that He knows what's in my heart.

So, after the sign came back, Alissa and I went out shopping for a birthday present for one of our dear friends. (Alissa is on break from school this week.) As we ate lunch at the Navy Exchange Food Court, I noticed a man sitting behind Alissa.

This man looked EXACTLY like my grandpa (my dad's dad). I mean EXACTLY: the moustache, the white hair, combed the same way, the same glasses, the same body, the same everything. They could have been twins. I couldn't help but look at him repeatedly. (I'm sure he probably either didn't notice or dismissed me as an idiot.)

My dad's dad was a great person, at least in my opinion. And, every time I saw him, he spoke the same words: "There's Grampap's Baby!". (He said this up until his death, and I was 18 at the time.) He always made me feel wonderful, and everytime I saw him he seemed so happy to see me. It is a phrase that, some days, I still long to hear. Though I don't remember those early days, my mom tells me that we had a special bond in my first few years of life. I wish that I could remember.

Seeing this man, I am sure, was a sign of some sort. I don't know what the sign was meant to say, or why. But it was there.

Thank you God! I know you are trying to tell me something, and although I don't know what it is just yet, I am so glad our communication lines are restored. Amen!!

And to my grandpa, I miss you every day, even after 20 years. Thank you for being here today.

Oh Yes, It's '80s night....

Our very wonderful friends, Jay and Lucie, organized an "'80s Night" party. Because this party was family-friendly, the kids were all in attendance, too - it was dinner and a selection of movies made in the 1980s. (I am fairly confident that part of Jay's heart lies in the 1980s for some reason, as he talks about it a lot... Keep in mind that Jay was born in 1971, just like me, so he was a kid/teen in the 1980s.)

Well, there were 4 families in attendance, and the females from these families decided that it would be fun to "dress the part". My 3 girls totally got into it, but, since they weren't alive in the '80s, all they really had for a frame of reference is what they've seen on TV - i.e. Full House and Family Matters. They really tried, but some of the fashions they chose were actually more appropriate for the '70s - tie-dye and peace sign necklaces. Alissa and Alex did rock the 80s costume jewelry that I used to wear (and still hang onto, for some crazy reason...)

I did my hair the way I would have in the '80s, I guess. I didn't dress up, per se, but when our friend Nicole came through the door, I almost peed my pants!! She totally looked the part. She had on a short sleeve t-shirt with the sleeves rolled, and jeans with the legs pegged. (Those of you that are around my age, don't even try to tell me that you didn't wear your jeans that way!!)

She also rocked the hairdo. She has naturally curly, curly hair, but she curled down her bangs in a roll like my sister Shari used to do. (I remember that one section of Shari's hair literally took HOURS for her to get perfect.) Then she spritzed up the top section of her head into a little poof. I really felt like we were looking at what could have been her freshman yearbook photo! She really took the dressing-up to the next level. It was perfection!

I think Alissa has a picture on her phone, I'll see if I can get her to send it to me. This one is the only one that we took with our camera, and it doesn't do Nicole's outfit justice at all:

(Clockwise: me, Nicole, Tania, Lucie, Alex and Abby...)

We watched "SpaceCamp". Now, anyone who knew me back in the day knows that I went through a genuine phase where I felt I was destined to be an astronaut and go up in space with the space shuttle. This movie was in my top 5 for many, many years. It was a huge kick to see it again after a few years. Yes, it's a campy movie, and that would never really happen - a group of kids accidentally getting sent into space. My kids didn't seem to love the movie like I remember loving it. But, the grownups did. (Jay and Lucie had NEVER seen it before?? I still can't figure that one out...)

Then, the little ones went home with a parent or grandparents, and Alissa took my girls home for a Disney movie. Jon and I stayed with Nicole and Jay and Lucie and watched The Goonies. My Jon loves this movie. I am not such a fan, but I watched in the spirit of '80s Night, and I actually found myself laughing out loud a couple of times.

Thank you friends, what a "totally" fun night! Who's planning the next theme party?

Target!!

Target is here!! Ok, it's not open yet. (3 more days...)

You know that feeling that you feel, when you haven't seen an old friend for a very, very long time, and then suddenly you see them?

I felt that feeling today.

We drove by the Target building today, on our way home from the new Costco. That familiar red logo called out to us, warm and welcoming.

Yes, I know Target is just a store. And to most of you, especially Mainlanders, you might see Target on a regular basis - monthly, weekly, and sometimes daily (Laurie?)

For us, Target is - this might sound strange - a piece of "home". A piece of something we left behind. It wasn't just a store.

I guess I can't explain it properly.

So, on Wednesday Alissa and I will fight the crowds and search frantically for a parking space, just to visit our precious Target. It isn't about the stuff inside the store. It's just the idea that there is a Target down the street, whenever we need a little slice of home. It doesn't replace any of you in our hearts, but it is a small piece of something familiar.

So if you call on Wednesday and get my voicemail, at least you'll know why I am not answering...!

:-)

Presenting my daughter, the Sophomore Class President!!

Tuesday was a very big day in our family. Three out of the five of us had exceptional things happen:

1. Alissa was officially elected Sophomore Class President for the 2009-2010 school year.

This year she has made friends with the Class of 2009 President, some "hunky dude" (her words) named Jordan (said with a swoon). She became determined to run for class president of her own class. So, she did. She submitted the paperwork. She endured the election. And she won!

My kid is a rock star!

2. Abigail learned how to ride a 2-wheel bicycle!!

This is VERY big news. To my knowledge, Abby has never even been on a bicycle before. So Tuesday night I leave home for literally 90 minutes for an Army family meeting, and Jon comes home to tag team and "..to help the kids with homework while I'm out." Instead, Abby learns a new skill. I am literally here 24/7, and the 2 hours that I'm gone she learns how to ride a bike? And, as you'll see in the video (that thankfully they shot so Mom wouldn't miss this momentous occasion), she does it with no one holding onto the back of the bike.

My kid is a rock star!

3. On Monday (President's Day), Jon and a colleague, with 20,000 others, ran in the Great Aloha Run.

It's an annual 8.5 mile run/walk for charity. On Tuesday, we found out that he placed in the top 1/3 of run times for his age group. He ran in 1:18:xx, which is an average of 9 1/2 minute miles. He was so proud, and I am so proud. Here's a picture of him crossing the finish line...

My husband is a rock star!

He is fairly addicted now. He has already signed up for another race, this one 6.5 miles, in early April. And, I am considering signing up too. (I can't run as fast as Jon, and I won't even try, but the idea of completing a race is sort of exciting to me. I think I might actually be able to do it...)

So, Alex and I didn't have any life-changing events of our own that day. But, we will have some in the near future, I am certain. And we are certainly proud of our family members for their feats.

Happy Weekend Everyone!

Friends...

It's so easy to get bogged down in the minutae of life. The bills, jobs, kids, dishes, daily tasks that seem endless, tedious, mundane. It's so easy to forget to take time to be with the people that mean something to you. I have a very bad habit of knowing that my friends are there, but not remembering to tell them how much they mean to me.

I have always had trouble in the friends department, as long as I can remember. I want everyone to want to be my friend. I am afraid of rejection and disappointment, of not being good enough or PC enough or "... just enough". I forget to remember that it isn't about the number of friends that you can list, but the quality of friendship that you share with each person on your list. It's about feeling good when you're with those friends - not because you feel that they accept you, but because you know it. You see it in their eyes, their laughter, their expressions. You matter to them. There are few better feelings in the world than true, blessed friendship.

When you move as much as we do (or at least as much as the Heffners have over the last 15 years), you meet many people but have such a short window to make friends. Not acquaintances, but people who will find a corner of your heart and nestle there for the long haul. People who you can let find a corner of your heart and settle in. People that you can share your feelings, your days, your stories, and your secrets with. (OK, that last one I'm still working on, but I haven't given up.) It's always been so hard for me to let people into my life knowing that someday we'll have to say goodbye (well, at least in person). It's hard for me to let people into my world, and really let them take this journey with me. Let them see my fears, my hopes, my dreams, and my sorrows. I always worry that those things will end up either hurting me, or driving potential friends away.

For Tania and Nicole, thank you for reminding me why this leg of my life's journey led me to Hawaii and to Paiaha Place. Thank you for your laughter, your tears, your hugs, and for just being there. It is a rare and beautiful thing to find friends who don't just watch your children or loan you a cup of flour, but those who capture your heart and remind you of your blessings, your worth, your happiness.

I had a fantastic time not watching the movie that you chose, Tania (but I'm sorry, too, that we didn't get to watch it). Nicole - I always enjoy conversations with you so much. I think that you are truly one of the greatest storytellers that I have ever heard.

I hope the 3 of us can have another "movie" night very soon! (I just have to remember that I'm getting too old to stay up so late on a school night!) :-)

Thank you ladies, for a blessed ending to an otherwise regular Monday.

Tiffany

Tornado!!

As I've mentioned in recent posts, the last couple months have been off-again, on-again rainy for Oahu. The first 9 or 10 months we lived here, the weather in Leeward Oahu was always sunny and cloud-free.

Then the rain came.

And, two days ago, there was a tornado. Literally across the street from our house!

You can see in the photo above that the tornado hit the golf course, which is directly across the street from where we live. (Photo is courtesy Calvin Santiago, who I assume is a local resident, who posted it on the local news station website),

Scary!!

At the time, I didn't even know it had happened. As I was preparing to leave to get Alex and Abby from school, the rain started pounding. I could see that the rain was coming because of the dark sky, visible from the sliding glass door that is just inches from the desk where I spend my workday everyday. But, there was no warning for what the rain brought with it.

When I got to school, I saw Alex right away. The school had released the older car-riders a couple of minutes early so they could warn their parents of the tornado. Alex was in a panic, crying and shaking. I guess the school has a tornado procedure, but because this tornado was literally just yards from the school, everyone panicked a little, causing Alex to totally lose it.

I got her calmed down enough to hear about the tornado and go get Abby. We picked up 2 other kids that were already planning to come home with us that day (another story), and got home. I heard more and more from the kids about this tornado, and then on the news Wednesday night it was the top story.

Tornados are not very common here, and when they happen they often happen with very little or no warning. Because we live on a relatively small island in the middle of the South Pacific Ocean, the weather patterns change so frequently that it is near impossible to predict when a weather system will come, and what it will do, unless of course the system is very large and hurricane-like. The last tornado to hit Oahu was in 2005.

The tornado was an F-0, the lowest rated tornado on the Fujita scale. There were some high winds, and the news says that the tornado died down and dissipated within 10 minutes of forming. The Golf Course sustained some damage, but only one person was minorly injured. It wasn't anywhere close to being nearly as bad as those in Oklahoma, and my heart goes out to those who lost their homes and/or loved ones. But, here in Hawaii, our tornado was quite a story...

Coverage of the tornado on our local NBC affiliate:

http://www.khnl.com/global/Category.asp?C=151146&clipId=&topVideoCatNo=91610&topVideoCatNoB=4758&topVideoCatNoC=75035&topVideoCatNoD=124377&topVideoCatNoE=96072&clipId=3444768&topVideoCatNo=91610&autoStart=true