I wish I could post more than once a week...

The sunset at Ko Olina, December 2009

I look at my blog, meaning to update it more. I really love writing, and writing about my life especially. It's so cathartic to me, to put things down on paper. To express the feelings I have inside.

But life gets in the way, and all the things that have to get done at Casa Heffner on a daily basis. I just can't get to it as often as I'd like.

This week, no really new news, I suppose. Alissa informed me in the car yesterday that class elections are this week. So her replacement will be chosen. She knows both of the people running, and if she has a preference she hasn't told me. I think this Class President experience has really changed her. She has been so busy this year, with meetings and planning and all that on top of her schoolwork. I am proud of her, and I tell her that. She told me she doesn't think she'd run again even if we were going to be here another year, because, in her words: "...11th and 12th grade are when I really need to be working on getting ready for college and I'm not sure I could do that and handle Presidential duties at the same time...". She's a smart girl in many ways.

I have noticed that Alex is starting to "blossom". Not really in "that" sense, just that she is becoming more of a young lady. She is more into daily hygiene - washing her face and caring about her appearance - and she's starting to lose some of that "kid" look. I looked at her this morning in the car, in the rear view mirror, and I thought to myself, "Her hair looks so pretty today." She hasn't really changed it, except for a trim about 6 weeks ago. But it's shinier and healthier, and her face has changed. It's not really describable, and I don't mean this as a judgement of any kind. It's just an observation. She's changing.

I remember Alissa going through that same thing, but for some reason Alex's change is affecting me. Is it possible that I now have 2 daughters who are young ladies?? I can barely believe my eyes. My heart already worries for the day that they won't be here, living in the house with us. How do parents do it? How do they let their children grow up and move on? I hope that, 2 years from now, when the time comes for Alissa to go to college, that I have the strength to make it through that day.

And Abby, the baby. Well, she's almost 7. Hardly a baby, though she will always be mine. I can't believe that there was ever a time when she wasn't here in our house, in our lives. She is such a smart, sweet, polite kid. And I see the 3 of them interacting together and I count my blessings. What a lucky mom I am.

There has been an influx of babies in our lives over the past year. A lot of our Ohana here is younger than I am, and are still having babies. When I hold my friends' babies, I remember that feeling. Having someone so small in your house. Smelling their smell and hearing that baby giggle. You know the one I mean, the one that starts in their tummy and gurgles all the way up. A friend of ours has a son who recently celebrated his first birthday. That boy is a true delight. The happiest baby I have ever met. To get to be a small, small part of his life is a sweet blessing. And when I see him and pick him up, and he kisses my cheek - you know, the slobbery, open-mouth baby kiss that all moms adore - I cry a little inside. Cries of happiness. That I get to have that with this little person. For a while. What a lucky girl I am.

Jon is good. Life is getting back to normal. Well, our version of normal. We've become so accustomed to the travels that it's easy to get back to life when Jon leaves and when he comes home. It's like our life has 2 versions - one with Dad here and one with Dad gone. We've gotten so used to flipping back and forth that it has become part of who we are.

Work is still the same. Still waiting to hear what my fate will be. A former manager IMed me yesterday, and he said "no news is good news, right?". My reply: "I have given it to God and I'm sure that when the time is right, something wonderful will happen." And I meant it. For the first time in my life, ever, I have truly given it to God. Several weeks ago, when I said I would. And I have. I don't let it rule my life. And I'm happy with that choice. It'll be OK. God is good, and He's been so great to me. I have no reason to believe that things won't be OK for us.

I ran 3.2 miles yesterday. Not exactly world news, but a big deal to me nonetheless. I celebrate every time I run, jog, or jog/walk. It is something I never intended to do or like, but I do it and I like it. A friend of mine calls running her "salve". The thing that smoothes out her edges. I guess for me it is too, a little bit. It's a hobby I never, ever thought I would try, let alone enjoy. An unexpected blessing of this life here in paradise.

And, finally no news on the move. We know we'll move, we both want it, and the Army knows we want it. They've expressed their approval. We just don't have the specifics yet...

Oh well, there's plenty to do here without worrying about that. I have made my 2010 resolution to worry a speck less, whenever I can. A speck is all I can manage, but so far it's working.

Happy Thursday!!

Catching up...

So it's been a couple of weeks since I last posted. I just get busy with stuff, and with visitors leaving and Jon coming back, and all the kids busy with school and activities, things have been hectic here. I've also been just trying to walk away from the computer at the end of the day. I feel like I am always tied to this thing.

This past Monday I ran the Great Aloha Run, an 8.15 mile annual "race" from Aloha Tower to the Aloha Stadium. Jon did it last year, which I blogged proudly. And I have wanted to run in it since then. I mean, I wasn't out to break any records. I just wanted to complete it.

I wasn't fast. It took me 2:05:00, which won't break Olympic records. But I felt GREAT. I was super pleased. And as I rounded the last turn and headed into the stadium, I saw the giant "Congratulations" sign. I didn't expect to cry, but I did. Cried with pride.

It was something I NEVER thought I would ever do. Run. And run 8.15 miles!!

Truthfully, I walked for a portion of it. Looking back, I walked probably 30-40% of the way. But who cares. I don't. I finished. And I finished a tad faster than that 5K that I ran back in September.

Since I don't run to break records, I only felt pride and success. (I run for stress relief...)

Jon's home. Back from a long, long TDY trip. It was only 6 weeks, but it felt like a year! I'm glad that it's over. There are no more trips planned for a while. And thank goodness. I am over this constant traveling.

Life is back to normal. At least the Heffners' version of normal. And it's pretty good.

Still no word on the move. Hopefully the Army hasn't forgotten about us.

Happy Thursday!

Happy Birthday Carrol!

Today is Jon's mom's birthday.

We had the pleasure of just having a long visit with her and her husband here in our home.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We were so glad to get to spend time with you, and we hope you have a wonderful day today!

Love to you from all of us!

Laurie's birthday and LOST is back!

My favorite show.

Of all time.

Yes, I am a LOST geek. It is a truly fascinating show. I don't get into all the weird conspiracies, I don't over-analyze, but over the summer I did read a few theories here and there. I got geared up for this new season. And Alissa and I watched seasons 1-5 to get prepared. (I'd seen them all already, but Alissa started with season 4 so she needed to go back and watch from the beginning...)

I am so excited for it to start back tonight. And the fact that it's filmed here, sometimes just down the street, is super cool. Everytime I see the Others' Barracks, I think of Camp Erdman and how cool it is to be standing in the Others' Village, looking at those buildings, seeing them in person. And Kawela Bay, a beautiful secluded beach that we got to enjoy with both Jon's sister and mine, is the place where Juliet and Goodwin swam and drank wine and decided not to hide their relationship any longer...

OK, OK, I've rambled. I can't help it. Love, love, love this show.

And, today is my sister Laurie's birthday! I miss her so much, and I wish her the happiest birthday she's ever had. It's her first birthday as a mom, and she gets to watch LOST tonight, so those two things should help make her day a little brighter.

Love you, Laurie, and hope to be a little closer to the celebration next year! Have an amazing day!

Happy 40th Birthday Jon!!

Happy, Happy Birthday to Jon,my wonderful husband of 15 1/2 years.

He can't be with us today, the Army has him away on business for another couple of weeks, but we are thinking of him and wishing we were in the same city. I miss that guy!.

Today his mom and stepdad are here still enjoying their visit. We climbed Diamond Head crater. It was our 4th time, their 1st. They did GREAT! A couple of stops here and there, but it didn't feel nearly as hard as the last 3 times I've climbed.

Either the 4th time is the charm, or all that crazy running I've done has finally started to pay off.

And at the top, we honored Jon(Dad) and let him know that we miss him and that we're thinking of him on his special day.

Happy birthday Jon. We love you and miss you. We're grateful to have you in our lives.

Back to School tomorrow and other thoughts for today...

The 2 younger kids finally go back to school tomorrow. They've been on break since December 18. YIKES! The Hawaii school system is horrible, and weird, and unlike anything we've ever been exposed to. The kids are on a track system, so they're in school for 8 weeks, then break for 3. Well, the grading period ended on December 18 so their "break" falls in line with Christmas break.

That means 5 weeks off - in a row - and it's not even summertime. (Alissa's school is on a traditional calendar, so thank goodness she is not exposed to this madness.)

I love these girls but it's time for them to go back to school. They're starting to bicker, and quite frankly they're getting bored. I like being here alone to work, and not have to listen to SpongeBob on the TV or girls fighting about whose turn it is to play on the Wii or with that Barbie or who was last to leave the room and needs to turn the light off. While I love having the house full of little girls (both mine and the neighbors'), I am tired of cleaning up or reminding little girls to clean up.

Bottom line, if you're ever finding that you have the opportunity to live in Hawaii, really take time explore other alternatives to the public school system. There's an excellent homeschool program here that I almost wish I would have tried, much to Alissa's dismay.

Meanwhile, Jon's mom and stepdad are here. It's been nice and relaxing, and we've spent a lot of time laughing. I think once the kids are all back in school tomorrow, they will start to venture out for more sightseeing, but for now they are content to live our everyday lives with us. It makes me sad that Jon is so far away and can't be here for any of the visit. I am even sadder that we can't go away for his birthday like I wanted, because (1) he won't be here for it, and (2) they'll be gone by the time he gets back and unable to take the kids for a night or 2.

What I wouldn't give for a night/weekend away, alone, just the 2 of us. We really could use that. Not that we're in a bad place or anything like that, but with him travelling so much, and our busy everyday lives compounding things, we don't get too many date nights, let alone time away by ourselves. I think the last time we did that was house-hunting in 2004. (NOTE: If there are any volunteers to take the kids for a day or 2 this summer, let me know....We'll be house-hunting again, wherever we end up.)

I haven't been running since the in-laws have been here. But surprisingly, I know I've lost a couple of pounds. I can tell by the way my pants fit. We've been eating healthy, and eating less. (Although we did have Peanut Butter Pie for dessert last night...)

I gotta get out to run today. There's no excuse. And, I need to spend some time alone. I miss that hour a day to myself. I miss my daily date with Chris Daughtry and Will Schuester ("Glee").

There's no "alone time" when I'm here. Someone under 18 always seems to need my help/attention/advice. One of the many side effects of military life. The girls and I are so close, they don't want to go to anyone else for help except me. It's a wonderful blessing, having such a close relationship with them. But it's also difficult, because I am always reminding them that Dad/Grandma/Grandpa/Ms. Tania/Ms. Nicole/their sister/etc. can help too, especially if that person is standing right beside them.

Well, back to the grind. No new news on the job/move. You all will definitely know if something changes...

Happy Monday!

A New Year Begins...

photo courtesy of www.mediabistro.com

So, 2010 is here. I'm not ready.

2010 is bringing a lot of changes to the Heffner household.

For starters, I am begging for a PCS move. Yes, I did the same thing when it was time to leave Germany. Yes, years later I long to re-visit that place and I also realize that we didn't take full advantage of our time there.

I'm sure the same thing will probably happen with this tour - we'll miss Hawaii when we leave. Except that we have taken advantage of our time here. Our copy of "O'ahu Revealed", which I highly recommend to anyone visiting this island, is bookmarked, worn, written in, highlighted, and water-stained.

We've seen and done so many cool things here. It's hard to choose our favorites! But, I'm ready to head back to the mainland. It's time.

Second, I hope to see Jon promoted to Lieutenant Colonel.

He's worked hard for this honor, and I hope that the Army Promotion Board sees what I see and rewards him. The board meets next month, so I've added it to the prayer list.

Third, Alissa will turn 16. Sixteen!! Am I old enough to have a sixteen year old??? Most days I don't feel much older than that myself. Don't worry, though, Alissa does her best to remind me that I am routinely uncool, un-hip, and couldn't possibly know what she's going through. Alissa will start to drive this year. (Don't worry, that won't happen until we leave this crazy state and its "Drive With Aloha" ridiculosity.)

Fourth, my career will change. Even if I get to stay with IBM, which is my true hope, I will not be on the same team that I am now. The team itself has already moved, changed names, changed management, and changed the way it runs. I am a "legacy team member", still around until they decide that they don't need me anymore. I hope that some of the networking I've done works out, but rest assured that the job I have now probably won't last for the full year.

And fifth, with the PCS move, we'll have a new place to live, new schools, a new town, new neighbors, and we'll all be the "new kid" again. Jon thinks this could be our last move before retirement. Since he has less than 5 years left, we could conceivably stay in the new place for all of that time, and then move one last time - for good - when he retires. (I said "could", so please don't read anything into that. It's just a statement right now...)

Wow, a lot of stuff is scheduled to happen this year.

Maybe I am ready after all. I think that one of the many things that Army life has taught me, besides profound independence, is the ability to handle change, and lots of it, all at the same time.

This isn't our first trip to Crazytown, and we know what we need to do to prepare ourselves for the journey ahead. There will be bumps, but we've got our battle gear on and our training manuals open.

Most importantly, we've asked God for help. And He's listening. (I can't always hear his cheers, but I know he's rooting for our team.)

So, as our life prepares to change again, stay tuned. And you might want to get your battle gear ready, too. It's better to be prepared for whatever is ahead.