Don't let anyone tell you that you can't get sick in Hawaii...

This is like any other place. I guess I assumed living somewhere where the weather was always warm and sunny that there was no way I would ever have a cough or a temperature, let alone bronchitis!

Yes, I have bronchitis. I barely got rid of the ear infections and sinus trouble (I just stopped that medicine a week ago) and now I'm taking new stuff! I don't get sick very often - I think that God has mercy on me because Jon is gone so much. He knows that there is a lot that I can manage while being a "single parent", but not my own illness. This time, Jon is out of town, but at least I am only dealing with a cough. Thank Goodness! Well, and my ears are a little angry again, but not as bad as a couple of weeks ago. When I went to the doctor last night, he said that since school has started back up that there have been a lot of folks in the office with coughs and sinus troubles and temperatures. I know that happens, but I never imagined it happened in Hawaii. I mean, I'm not stupid. I know that living here does not make one immune to illness. I guess logic just went out the window with me on this one.

At least it's me and not the kids who are sick. There is nothing that makes me feel more helpless than when one (or more) of the kids are not feeling well. It is one of my many weaknesses as a parent - I can't stand to see them ill in any way. When Alissa had all of her feet trouble all those years ago, I honestly don't know how I got through that. I guess it was sheer adrenaline - that and having family so close by.

So, besides that things are all normal. We went to Ko Olina again this past Saturday, before Jon left for his latest trip. Our great new neighbor, Nicole, went along, with her 2-year old son, Levi. (What a cutie!) They are such great people. (Her husband was away on business...) We had a great time. Nicole is braver than I am, she and Jon went snorkeling out near the rocks and they both commented on the many species of sea creatures that they saw. Me personally, I have nothing against sea life. However, when I am in the water, I prefer to remain naive and not know what's out there swimming around with me. Plus, I don't think I am a great swimmer, and I get nervous when the water gets deep. So, Jon had a snorkeling buddy for the day. A great time was had by all.

Abby and Levi

Alex and Levi

Jon, Abby, Levi and me

Nicole and Jon snorkeling

A brand new week...

Feeling better than last week!! My ear is healed, my sad mood is gone, and it's back to business.

Had a really busy weekend. Friday was Hawaii Admissions Day, celebrating the day that Hawaii became a state. (Hawaii, being the strange state that it is, has a lot of state holidays that they celebrate.) The kids and Jon were off from school and work, so I took the day off too. It wasn't a major day, but Jon and I ran some errands together and had a nice lunch with just the 2 of us. (We invited the kids to come along, but they like errands about as much as they like doing chores.)

Saturday was more running around the island - Abby's last dance class for summer. (She starts again in Pre-Ballet I in a couple of weeks...) Alex's monthly DEFY day - they went to Sea Life Park, which is sort of like Sea World but smaller and more touristy. Alex enjoyed it, though (and it was free because the Dept. of Defense pays for all of the DEFY activities.) Then we went to Costco and ran other errands. Not the most fun, but it has to be done, right?

Yesterday we went to Ko Olina. What a beautiful place. As I've mentioned before, Ko Olina is a Marriott resort community. They've carved out 4 "lagoons" and made them very family-friendly - soft sand, no rough rocks to step on in the water, no waves to speak of, and lots of places for families to sit on the beach and enjoy the day. In Hawaii all beachfront is required to be open to the public. So, you don't have to be staying there to visit the lagoons. The last time the kids and I went to Ko Olina, it was February and unusually rainy. Yesterday was sunny and beautiful. We got up early (if you aren't there by 9:30, you don't get a parking space), packed our beach bag, and off we went. Bellows is still my favorite, but Ko Olina is closer, and we knew we were only going to stay for 3 hours or so (Alissa had homework to do and I had some stuff I needed to do at home).

It was such a beautiful day, very sunny, and no one got sunburned! Alissa didn't go in the water yesterday, so she took pictures. Some of them turned out really great. Here's a few:

Ko Olina view #1:

Lagoon #4, where we swam:

View from the sidewalk:

Me, Alex and Abby:

A Japanese lady getting wedding photos taken:
Abby is making me "hide" her rocks in the sand under the
water so Alex won't see them and take them from her:

The waterfall at the entrance:

Feeling Better (Even though it's Monday...)

First of all, thanks to everyone who emailed me or called since my last post. Yeah, I was sort of feeling sorry for myself, but my loneliness was genuine. If all of you only knew how much I appreciate you getting in touch with me. It is so nice to know that there are people out there on the other side of blog-land that really exist and are there if I need you.

The comments from all of you were so kind. It reminds me that things are always brighter if you just give it a little more time. It meant so much to hear from all of you. I hate showing moments of weakness like that. I am supposed to be this larger-than-life military wife who can do it all and without help, right? For the last 14 years, I have always been conditioned to believe that. But sometimes it wears on you and you just want to be a normal person. That's what happened to me last week. I'd been having a tough week - being alone at home while all the kids went to school, work has been hectic, Jon informs me of another trip he has to go on, etc., etc. I just really, really needed someone to talk to. Then, my immune system got the best of me at the end of a tough week.

For those of you that called over the weekend who I didn't get to talk to, I am sorry about that. I got a really bad ear infection on Friday that seemed like it was killing me from the inside of my ear out! I spent most of the weekend sleeping and letting the antibiotics work.

So, Monday (today) is the start of a brand new week. I'm feeling better physically, and mentally my mind is back in the game. Let's make it a good one!

Thanks for your support, friendship, love, whatever wonderful thing it is that you bring to my life. Each of you mean a lot to me.

Love to you all -
Tiffany

Feeling a little depressed today...

Yeah, I said it. Depressed. Well, maybe just a little lonely. I can't be sure. It seems like all of my friends from the past (my recent past and my "past" past) have moved on without me. I have tried to contact some of them, but no one ever writes back. I don't get it. I read a passage once, I don't know where it came from. It said, "People are in your life for as long as God wants them in your life." I know that God has a plan - I have always believed that. I don't understand why God thinks that I am better off doing things alone - no best girlfriend to call on the phone, no buddies to have a book club with. I am sure that there is a reason - I have never doubted that there is a Divine Plan for me, and it is not my place to question it. But, sometimes I wonder. Why? Why did those people, who once meant so much to me (and some still hold very dear places in my heart) leave my life? Just because I move from place to place, why do I have to start over EVERY TIME and find new people to share with? It's so hard for me to trust someone enough to even make a friend. I have been hurt way too many times in my life. So, how do I get to a point where I can find someone, let them in, and keep them (even after the next move)? I think that this military life has made me stronger than I ever thought I could be - more tolerant, more patient, more independent. But everyone needs at least one person that they can always go to. I know people are busy with their lives. I am too, I get it - I have a job, 3 school-age kids, a husband who always has to go somewhere. But, it only takes 30 seconds to send an email that says "Got your note, I can't talk long but thanks! You are my friend too." If you only knew how much that would mean to me!! I want so much to give my friendship to someone who can give me a friendship in return. I am tired of being lonely.


And, just like Germany was, Hawaii is a nice enough place but sometimes it is just too darn far from home. (For those of you who have lived here, please don't say I told you so.) I like it here, but sometimes you just need to see your Mom so she can make it better. (Even when you're 37!) When you live an ocean away, you can't do that. And with the time difference, every time I want to call one of those friends (because it's harder to avoid me if I call than it is if I email you), it is the middle of the night on the mainland.


So, if anyone out there reading this could just write me a little note or comment, so I know that there is someone thinking of me and that it will be OK. I just need that right now. I know we're all busy. But we all need friends. A friend once told me, "If you want a friend, you have to be a friend." I want to be a friend. Will anyone answer that call?

The First Day of School - 2008

The Girls on their first morning back to school - July 28, 2008

Well, I have made it through the morning of the first day of school 2008. The day that all 3 of my fabulous children go to school. I thought I would cry, and I did for about half a second, but it went away as I rushed (and I really mean rushed) from taking Alex and Abby to school to getting Alissa to the high school so she wouldn't be late. It's been a hectic morning!

Alex and Abby have to be at school by 7:45, and Alissa by 7:55. Abby's teacher opens the door for the kids to come in at exactly 7:45. So, by the time Jon and I get her settled and get back to the car where Alissa is waiting, it's 7:51. Alissa is panicking - "I'm going to be late, Mom!!"

She got there exactly at 7:55. Hopefully the 1st period teacher showed some mercy because it's the first day and the kids are new to the school and there is inherent chaos that goes along with that. Obviously we'll have to figure out a better plan to get everyone to school on time starting tomorrow!

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So I'm sitting here at my desk, in a quiet house. We've done this before, when Abby was in preschool and Alissa and Alex were in school in TN. But, somehow it's different now. Kindergarten is a whole other world, and Abby has been counting down the days for months now. And the quiet here is different - knowing she is gone for the whole day. I know, I know - time for her to grow up. I can't help it - she's still my "baby" in many ways. We still cuddle on Saturday mornings and she still is so excited to see me all the time. I am missing her! She'd heard me talking to my friend about missing her while she's at school, so I made sure to tell her not to worry about Mom. (She can be a worrier, just like me, only not so bad.) Jon assures me that she will be fine, and I know he's right. (When I worry, he is always the voice of reason and he is almost always right. I don't know how he stays so calm all the time.)

Thought I would share some pics of the girls from this morning before things started to get crazy!

Have a great day all. Say a prayer that the girls have a great day and that Mom makes it through the day full of slience....

Love, Tiffany

Abby getting ready for school...

Alex posing for the camera...

Alissa doesn't want to go...She's not used to being up this early...

Miscellaneous updates...

Hey all. It's been a couple of weeks since my last post. Since that time, Alex has graduated from Phase I of DEFY, the DoD camp she was attending. For those of you that have been wondering where Alex has been in my posts, I was waiting for the camp to get started before I posted about it. Then, before I knew it, camp was over! So, I took a couple of pictures at her Phase I graduation.

Phase II starts in August. The kids go one Saturday a month and there's learning accompanied usually by community service or a field trip. At the end of the year-long commitment in May, Alex will graduate from the program and be eligible to be a "Junior Mentor" (when she's 12). It's a really neat program, gets the kids doing something besides watching TV. And, you've all seen the commercials about talking to your kids about stuff. This was, if nothing else, a chance for some of the information about drugs, tobacco, alcohol, gangs, and basic behavior to enter their brains. You could tell that most of the kids got something out of it. And, they made new friends that they wouldn't otherwise have met (because these kids live all over the island, and have parents in all branches of service.) Overall, I think it was an exceptional program that I was glad to have been able to let Alex participate in.

On a totally separate note, I wanted to share some unrelated pictures. Abby's been loving her Creative Dance Class, and you can tell from the pictures that she's trying to do her best. I am so proud of her!

And, lastly, I've been trying to get on the Elliptical Machine at least 3 or 4 days a week for the past 3 months or so. Is it working? Yeah, I think it's starting to work. (When and if you can see dramatic changes, I will post a picture.) Anyway, I think my consistent exercise habits are rubbing off on the kids, but on this particular day they were more just goofing around (note Abby's facial expression and the fact that Alissa is wearing skinny jeans on the machine!)

For us this is the last weekend before all 3 of my beautiful girls start school. Alissa is nervous, Alex is indifferent, Abby is thrilled. I am all of those, and scared, too. As I mentioned before, our lives change on Monday. Maybe that's a little dramatic, but we are definitely opening a new chapter in the Heffner family novel. I hope you will all say a prayer for my girls and their first day back to school, and a prayer that Mom makes it through the day too!

Have a great weekend everyone, I will post "First Day of School" pictures on Monday afternoon...

Abby is officially a kindergartener!

So, Abby started kindergarten Friday...Well, it was kindergarten testing, but she went to school and met the other new kindergarteners. She wore her Kapolei uniform (and if you remember seeing Alex's in my January post, you know it's mainly just t-shirts.) But, they got a new color this year - purple - and the kids are really excited about it so Abby wore her purple shirt to school.

Since kindergarten is a full-day program here, the kids stayed until noon for testing so they could experience eating lunch at school. (Abby took her lunch, which she excitedly helped me pack the night before.)

When I took her to school, each child went into the classroom individually. The teacher asked the child for their name, crossed it off on the list she had, and said "OK, hug Mommy/Daddy goodbye." To which we hugged when it was our turn. Abby hugged me long enough to be polite and headed inside. (She has been waiting for this day to come for a few months now, and she was ready to go.) I didn't understand why they weren't letting the parents come into the classroom until it was our turn. Abby skipped excitedly to where she needed to go, while I turned around to leave and started crying like a baby! My last child, my baby, is officially in school now. Part of me is so excited for her, because she is so ready to start. But, part of me knows that these kids are growing faster than I am ready for. And, another part of me is scared about what an empty house will sound like when all 3 kids are in school and I am here working. Abby and I have been together for 4 years, since I started working at home. We're buddies. She is my shopping partner, my lunch companion, the person who is always there. I know that she's ready to let go and start this exciting new chapter, and part of me is too. But, I will miss having her around all day.

Here's her big day: