100th Post!!

I've made it to 100 posts. I know there are blogs out there that are updated everyday with witty, insightful information. Blogs that inspire you, or educate you, or suprise you.

Mine isn't one of them. (Well, I don't think it is...)

It started out as a way for family and friends on the Mainland to stay in touch, to see pictures of the family and our adventures. and to feel like we were together even though they're thousands of miles away.

It became much more than that, to me. It's been a way to chronicle pieces of my life. To work out feelings. To get past tough spots, and to document the unbelievable (great) ones.

I only have a few followers, but they provide me guidance, encouragement, and confidence.

We're leaving Hawaii soon (well, in the next few months), but I'm planning to continue the blog. Maybe even make it better.

Thanks for sticking with me. For sharing the good times, and the bad ones. And for being out there. Here's to 100 (or 200) more posts!

Tiffany

The tsunami that wasn't...

As promised, I wanted to chronicle last Saturday's events - the tsunami warning we never saw coming.

The day started at 3:00 am for Jon and me. The phone starts ringing. I immediately think it's work calling, and remember that my iPhone is most likely on "silent", which is why the house phone is ringing. We never get called in the middle of the night, on the house phone, unless it's work. Since I hadn't been laid off yet, I ran downstairs to try to catch it in time before the voicemail kicks in.

I see it's my friend from across the street calling, to ask if I'm awake. "No," I say, it's 3:00 am, of course I am asleep. Well, trying to sleep. The idiot neighbor behind me is loud, drunk and obnoxious this night, and I have already awakened several times to find out what the heck he's being so loud about. My friend says a friend from the mainland has called - the mainland is reporting of an earthquake in Chile (which I'd heard on the news the night before) but that the aftereffects of this earthquake are a potentially sizeable tsunami headed straight for the Hawaiian Islands.

WHAT? I am immediately startled and panicked. I turn on the TV, and as Jon rolls over to head back to dreamland, I relay the information I've just heard. The news states a tsunami warning is in effect, that the sirens will start blaring at 6 am, and that all listeners should get their Emergency Kits together and prepare to head inland for the next 6-10 hours, maybe more. (What emergency kit??)

Just as I start to really panic - a TSUNAMI? - the phone rings again. It's the mother of another friend (from down the street) - I didn't even know she knew our phone number, as she's calling from the DC area... :-) She can't reach her daughter, whose husband is away on lengthy military business. This friend was literally scheduled to move THIS SAME day, so her phone is at the other house, her cell phone is dead, and no one can reach her. I tell friend's mother I will drive up there and make sure she's awake and aware.

So, by 6 am I have already driven to a friend's house and induced panic there, driven her to the new house, helped her gather her animals (scattered between the old house and the new), gotten gas for the car, and driven back home. Jon's awakened the kids, prepared the stuff we're taking with us, and updated our Facebook status so people know we're aware and OK but can't take calls.

The sirens start at 6. Here I was, prepared for the sounds of an air raid. After all, we're trying to wake well over a million people to tell them to head for higher ground. On a Saturday. The sirens are wimpy little whistles that last for no more than 2 minutes.

Since we're already aware of the situation, we pack the car and turn on the TV for further instructions. They say to stay put, our area's in a "secondary evacuation zone", so we'll do more harm than good by heading out. Jon, ever the voice of reason, decides to invite all our neighborhood friends over for a gigantic breakfast.

Turned out to be the best decision of the day. We eat, laugh, watch the kids play, and ride out the "warning" as it turns out to be nothing more than 1-foot waves. Three hours later the warning is canceled, streets are reopened and we go on with the rest of the day.

It was another day to add to the memory bank - "what were you doing during the tsunami warning of 2010?" I tell my friend across the street that we'll laugh about this 15 or so years from now when we're assembled for Alissa's wedding.

My other friend's move was rescheduled for the next day and went off without a hitch.

Thankfully we were protected that day. Hawaii's last tsunami, originated from Chile in 1961, took 61 lives and destroyed millions of dollars of property. I can understand the hype, the preparation, the alerts. I'm just thankful it turned out differently this time.

Well, it happened...

I intended to write today about the "tsunami-that-wasn't" scare that we had on Saturday. I will still write that post, but for now I am consumed with the fact that "it" happened.

My job gave me the heave-ho today. Well, me and a few hundred others.

I knew it was coming. I knew. And I have 30 days to find a miracle reprieve. Another job in the same company. I've been looking for a year. These next 30 days aren't going to bring a miracle. At least not at that company!

I have people there who care about my future and support me. People who will be references in the future.

But it doesn't change the heartache I feel. Not about the company itself, though. Just that I have never been let go - not fired, not laid off. It sucks. I feel like a failure and like a deadbeat. Like I wasn't good enough.

It's all about money and the bottom line. I know in my heart I gave my all. I don't think it's personal. But it still hurts. A lot.

I worry most that I won't be marketable somewhere else. I have skills, but some that I haven't used in several years. I worry that no one else will see my worth.

I guess that's all I have to say. I have been crying for an hour and I guess I just am done with that for now. I will probably cry all day, and for the foreseeable future, but mostly because I hate the unknown. And my job future is unknown.

Besides my crappy employer and my pending unemployment, life is awesome. Truthfully. Had a fantastic weekend and spent it with my dearest friends here on the island. It was such a fun time.

You can expect my tsunami post soon. Now that I will have a lot more time on my hands. (At least now I have more time to improve my running!)

I wish I could post more than once a week...

The sunset at Ko Olina, December 2009

I look at my blog, meaning to update it more. I really love writing, and writing about my life especially. It's so cathartic to me, to put things down on paper. To express the feelings I have inside.

But life gets in the way, and all the things that have to get done at Casa Heffner on a daily basis. I just can't get to it as often as I'd like.

This week, no really new news, I suppose. Alissa informed me in the car yesterday that class elections are this week. So her replacement will be chosen. She knows both of the people running, and if she has a preference she hasn't told me. I think this Class President experience has really changed her. She has been so busy this year, with meetings and planning and all that on top of her schoolwork. I am proud of her, and I tell her that. She told me she doesn't think she'd run again even if we were going to be here another year, because, in her words: "...11th and 12th grade are when I really need to be working on getting ready for college and I'm not sure I could do that and handle Presidential duties at the same time...". She's a smart girl in many ways.

I have noticed that Alex is starting to "blossom". Not really in "that" sense, just that she is becoming more of a young lady. She is more into daily hygiene - washing her face and caring about her appearance - and she's starting to lose some of that "kid" look. I looked at her this morning in the car, in the rear view mirror, and I thought to myself, "Her hair looks so pretty today." She hasn't really changed it, except for a trim about 6 weeks ago. But it's shinier and healthier, and her face has changed. It's not really describable, and I don't mean this as a judgement of any kind. It's just an observation. She's changing.

I remember Alissa going through that same thing, but for some reason Alex's change is affecting me. Is it possible that I now have 2 daughters who are young ladies?? I can barely believe my eyes. My heart already worries for the day that they won't be here, living in the house with us. How do parents do it? How do they let their children grow up and move on? I hope that, 2 years from now, when the time comes for Alissa to go to college, that I have the strength to make it through that day.

And Abby, the baby. Well, she's almost 7. Hardly a baby, though she will always be mine. I can't believe that there was ever a time when she wasn't here in our house, in our lives. She is such a smart, sweet, polite kid. And I see the 3 of them interacting together and I count my blessings. What a lucky mom I am.

There has been an influx of babies in our lives over the past year. A lot of our Ohana here is younger than I am, and are still having babies. When I hold my friends' babies, I remember that feeling. Having someone so small in your house. Smelling their smell and hearing that baby giggle. You know the one I mean, the one that starts in their tummy and gurgles all the way up. A friend of ours has a son who recently celebrated his first birthday. That boy is a true delight. The happiest baby I have ever met. To get to be a small, small part of his life is a sweet blessing. And when I see him and pick him up, and he kisses my cheek - you know, the slobbery, open-mouth baby kiss that all moms adore - I cry a little inside. Cries of happiness. That I get to have that with this little person. For a while. What a lucky girl I am.

Jon is good. Life is getting back to normal. Well, our version of normal. We've become so accustomed to the travels that it's easy to get back to life when Jon leaves and when he comes home. It's like our life has 2 versions - one with Dad here and one with Dad gone. We've gotten so used to flipping back and forth that it has become part of who we are.

Work is still the same. Still waiting to hear what my fate will be. A former manager IMed me yesterday, and he said "no news is good news, right?". My reply: "I have given it to God and I'm sure that when the time is right, something wonderful will happen." And I meant it. For the first time in my life, ever, I have truly given it to God. Several weeks ago, when I said I would. And I have. I don't let it rule my life. And I'm happy with that choice. It'll be OK. God is good, and He's been so great to me. I have no reason to believe that things won't be OK for us.

I ran 3.2 miles yesterday. Not exactly world news, but a big deal to me nonetheless. I celebrate every time I run, jog, or jog/walk. It is something I never intended to do or like, but I do it and I like it. A friend of mine calls running her "salve". The thing that smoothes out her edges. I guess for me it is too, a little bit. It's a hobby I never, ever thought I would try, let alone enjoy. An unexpected blessing of this life here in paradise.

And, finally no news on the move. We know we'll move, we both want it, and the Army knows we want it. They've expressed their approval. We just don't have the specifics yet...

Oh well, there's plenty to do here without worrying about that. I have made my 2010 resolution to worry a speck less, whenever I can. A speck is all I can manage, but so far it's working.

Happy Thursday!!

Catching up...

So it's been a couple of weeks since I last posted. I just get busy with stuff, and with visitors leaving and Jon coming back, and all the kids busy with school and activities, things have been hectic here. I've also been just trying to walk away from the computer at the end of the day. I feel like I am always tied to this thing.

This past Monday I ran the Great Aloha Run, an 8.15 mile annual "race" from Aloha Tower to the Aloha Stadium. Jon did it last year, which I blogged proudly. And I have wanted to run in it since then. I mean, I wasn't out to break any records. I just wanted to complete it.

I wasn't fast. It took me 2:05:00, which won't break Olympic records. But I felt GREAT. I was super pleased. And as I rounded the last turn and headed into the stadium, I saw the giant "Congratulations" sign. I didn't expect to cry, but I did. Cried with pride.

It was something I NEVER thought I would ever do. Run. And run 8.15 miles!!

Truthfully, I walked for a portion of it. Looking back, I walked probably 30-40% of the way. But who cares. I don't. I finished. And I finished a tad faster than that 5K that I ran back in September.

Since I don't run to break records, I only felt pride and success. (I run for stress relief...)

Jon's home. Back from a long, long TDY trip. It was only 6 weeks, but it felt like a year! I'm glad that it's over. There are no more trips planned for a while. And thank goodness. I am over this constant traveling.

Life is back to normal. At least the Heffners' version of normal. And it's pretty good.

Still no word on the move. Hopefully the Army hasn't forgotten about us.

Happy Thursday!

Happy Birthday Carrol!

Today is Jon's mom's birthday.

We had the pleasure of just having a long visit with her and her husband here in our home.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We were so glad to get to spend time with you, and we hope you have a wonderful day today!

Love to you from all of us!

Laurie's birthday and LOST is back!

My favorite show.

Of all time.

Yes, I am a LOST geek. It is a truly fascinating show. I don't get into all the weird conspiracies, I don't over-analyze, but over the summer I did read a few theories here and there. I got geared up for this new season. And Alissa and I watched seasons 1-5 to get prepared. (I'd seen them all already, but Alissa started with season 4 so she needed to go back and watch from the beginning...)

I am so excited for it to start back tonight. And the fact that it's filmed here, sometimes just down the street, is super cool. Everytime I see the Others' Barracks, I think of Camp Erdman and how cool it is to be standing in the Others' Village, looking at those buildings, seeing them in person. And Kawela Bay, a beautiful secluded beach that we got to enjoy with both Jon's sister and mine, is the place where Juliet and Goodwin swam and drank wine and decided not to hide their relationship any longer...

OK, OK, I've rambled. I can't help it. Love, love, love this show.

And, today is my sister Laurie's birthday! I miss her so much, and I wish her the happiest birthday she's ever had. It's her first birthday as a mom, and she gets to watch LOST tonight, so those two things should help make her day a little brighter.

Love you, Laurie, and hope to be a little closer to the celebration next year! Have an amazing day!