Well, it happened...

I intended to write today about the "tsunami-that-wasn't" scare that we had on Saturday. I will still write that post, but for now I am consumed with the fact that "it" happened.

My job gave me the heave-ho today. Well, me and a few hundred others.

I knew it was coming. I knew. And I have 30 days to find a miracle reprieve. Another job in the same company. I've been looking for a year. These next 30 days aren't going to bring a miracle. At least not at that company!

I have people there who care about my future and support me. People who will be references in the future.

But it doesn't change the heartache I feel. Not about the company itself, though. Just that I have never been let go - not fired, not laid off. It sucks. I feel like a failure and like a deadbeat. Like I wasn't good enough.

It's all about money and the bottom line. I know in my heart I gave my all. I don't think it's personal. But it still hurts. A lot.

I worry most that I won't be marketable somewhere else. I have skills, but some that I haven't used in several years. I worry that no one else will see my worth.

I guess that's all I have to say. I have been crying for an hour and I guess I just am done with that for now. I will probably cry all day, and for the foreseeable future, but mostly because I hate the unknown. And my job future is unknown.

Besides my crappy employer and my pending unemployment, life is awesome. Truthfully. Had a fantastic weekend and spent it with my dearest friends here on the island. It was such a fun time.

You can expect my tsunami post soon. Now that I will have a lot more time on my hands. (At least now I have more time to improve my running!)